First of all, thanks to Xueting for the reassurance of studying methods. I really can't stand my brain sometimes, so cui, cannot remember and retain all the information I need for examinations.

Anyway Colin, your latest blog entry reminds me of something. Last night, I received news that upset me. This is not the first time it's happening. But what upsets me is that this person is one of the good friends of mine from the club, and that this person should have told me instead of keeping it inside. Hence, I spent last night (till abt 2 in the morning) blogging and thinking why I don't do things right.

At times I hate myself because there are some lessons which I don't learn, though they have cost me quite a lot. Really. If I could go back in time to re-do the things which I made mistakes in, I would go back and re-attempt.

Last Wednesday (28 Feb), I did one of my advanced project speeches (Accepting an award). This speech requires me to pretend to have received an award, and to give a 5 to 7-minute speech thanking the presenting organisation and the people who made it possible (and not mentioning a whole list of names which bores the audience to tears like in some award presentations). I only had time to plan one hour before the chapter meeting. I gave it some thought. In the end, during the speech, I spoke about me not being perfect, and definitely am not Mr-know-it-all. In the past, I thought I was Mr-know-it-all, and that I am better. As the years went by, I realised that there are people around me who inspires and motivate me. (At the end, I won the best prepared speech award of the meeting =D)

I remember this year January when I visited Cristofori (the piano company) Toastmasters Club as part of my 2nd round of Area Governor visit (An area governor is supposed to visit the 4-5 clubs in the area under his / her charge twice every term). As usual, like any other toastmasters meeting, there is a section called "table topics session", where members are invited or arrowed to go on stage to pick a topic from the table topic master, and to deliver a 1-2 minute impromptu speech on the topic chosen (before that, the speaker would not know the topic and the speaker, upon picking the topic, has usually about 5 to 10 secs before having to start speaking). My topic was something about "who is my superhero". After a few seconds, I started my speech by saying the following: "Who is your superhero? Superman? Spiderman? For me, it is neither, for my superhero is hu-man." and I spoke about instead of having to worship an idol, why not be your own idol. (In the end, I got the best table topic speaker award of the meeting =D)

So Colin, and to the rest of the pandas and pig, yup I must admit that I am not perfect, but I'm learning. I'm trying to learn, and to struggle through the past mistakes and trying to learn from those which I can't seem to learn from. I am perhaps a good product of the education system, that I am in search for the perfect ten-year-series-answer to everything in life. I wonder why I can't seem to do somethings right, and if there's a standard ten-year-series-answers to some of the problems in life and the problems I face as a club and district officer of Toastmasters. Last night, a fellow member told me, that my age is working against me. Because of my age, others may not like the idea of me being the club president and an area governor. But never mind, I'll just do my part.

Yes, in my life, there are several things which I regret, just like you Colin, how you regret not completing the race. Most people would say to forget about it and move on. Easier said than done. However, why not take it as a chapter in your life, and tell yourself: there is something I can learn from it?

This is the season of studying


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